pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
