just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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