How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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