No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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