you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
