I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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