I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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