recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
