Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
