i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize