Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Terrible idea I love it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
