god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
