what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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