she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
