I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
