i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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