$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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