Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
