frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize