Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
