Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
