Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize