He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
