This girl is more easily done than said...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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