But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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