We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize