Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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