the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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