you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
