I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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