what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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