You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
