Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
