So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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