your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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