Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
