stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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