The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
