First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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