He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need water and some morals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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