My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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