But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
