don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
