So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
