I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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