no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
only if we run a train.
done.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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