They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
