I am puke
If that was your dad, he is hot
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
