he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
