you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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