I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize