I just pynch a tree in the face
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
