ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What drink are we having for lunch?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
