Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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