all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
