it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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