You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
