things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
