return my video game
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
