I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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