so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
