woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
