If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Shame is for Republicans.
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