come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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