I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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