i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
