It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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