Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize